We'll call him #9 - to dump or not to dump?

Okay - so it's been over a year that I've been "seeing" #9. First - the name - why do I call him #9? He's got 9 dead animals in his living room...yeah NINE!

Of course I have 8 live ones in mine. Mine are all the same species. Anybody want to take a guess at #9s species. There are 3:

* Deer (duh!)
* ????
* ????

So we've been seeing each other but it's no commitment. He's allergic to cats...so it can't go anywhere really.

So why bother staying with it? Is it wrong to keep hanging out with somebody when it's not going to go anywhere?

I'm not turning anyone away - I'm just not giving him the final heave-ho.

Thoughts? And guesses on the species?

Why am I still single?

Why am I still single? Can someone just explain it to me?

1. I'm a nice girl - well sorta nice. I can be a bitch but who can't? Maybe I shouldn't start here...

2. I'm fun, outgoing, spunky and all sorts of things like that.

3. In the looks department - I guess I'd say I'm cute. I'm not pretty, I'm not gorgeous but I'm not barking either...

4. I am not thin - I'm not huge - I'm a little fluffier than average. I've lost 50 pounds but I still have more to go. I am in Boot Camp and teach Hip Hop - so I am very active.

5. I think I'm smart...well I don't really...but other people think I am.

6. I have a house, a job, a car, etc... the basics.

7. All of my teeth, hair and appendages are in tact.

I'm not looking to get married right away. I'm not really looking to have kids (maybe - maybe not). I'm just looking for someone semi-normal to hang out with on a regular basis.

So - if any guy is brave enough to comment - let me know.

To the guys in their 30s - tell me - do you want a relationship with a successful, fun girl in her 30s?

Honesty IS the best policy

Had a date yesterday with "farmer" - every guy I interact with gets a nickname. My BFF (a guy actually) can't remember names so I have to give them nicknames...we've had camaro, farmer, GED, 2nd shift, construction guy, inappropriate guy, quiet guy, comic book guy, fanny pack, etc... It's a long list...

Anyway - had a date with "farmer" and while extremely nice and sweet - he just wasn't for me. He's 44 and he's all of 44. I'm 35 and feel/act 28. He had the combover and some other things that just weren't for me. His kids are in high school. Etc...

But - he'd brought me flowers, been completely appropriate, paid for the date, etc... all very good qualities.

So - how to dump him? I decided to be honest...why?

Let me go back briefly and tell you about GED. We had one date - went great. We spoke a few times - went great. Made plans for a 2nd date - great! Then the night before he emails and tells me he can't go out because his roommate can't pay his 1/2 of the rent so he's broke for a while. I email him back and say I'll pay for the movie (I make 3X what he makes) or we can do something that is free. He says "thanks but..." Now that's clearly a blow off - for some reason - he changed his mind.

So why not just freakin tell me that?

That said - I decided to be honest with farmer. I told him that he was very sweet and nice but we were at different places in our lives and he was a bit too old for me at this point.

And...how would farmer take it?

GREAT! He said he understood and figured as much. He then said if I know any women older than me to feel free to send them his way and that he'd do the same.

WOW - you mean - two adults could be honest and it would work out okay?!

That made my day...well that and the video of the lady on Britain's Got Talent!

Really?

I just have to vent about dating...I don't understand it all. I mean you like a guy - you show interest - they show interest - you plan something and then - they bail. They give you a reason - but you know - I'm just not buying it. I'm sorry - I've been burned too many times - I am 99.9% sure that noise I hear is the sound of smoke being blown up my ass.

So why? Why play the little games? Why is it we can't just be honest and say "you don't do it for me" and move on?

Why did the ex that broke my heart not just say "hey - going back to the cheating whore - sorry"? (She has a name - it's Stephanie - but not to me. In my book - she's "the cheating whore" - thanks to my friend Nicole for giving her that nickname.)

I'm just as guilty though!

Why didn't I tell "camaro" that he had 11 red flags in 2 dates and that was just too many! How can someone have 11 red flags in 2 dates? Here's how:

First he’s from Hamilton – RED FLAG (count with me) - he picked me up in a 95 camaro – RED FLAG. Then he told me his dad was a murderer and his mom was a crack whore – RED FLAG. Then he told me he used to be addicted to cocaine – RED FLAG. Then on our second date (not joking) – he again picked me up in the camaro – RED FLAG. On the way to our date he told me he swindles the gov’t so he doesn’t have to pay taxes – RED FLAG. Then he stopped to get gas and only put in $6 – RED FLAG. Then when we got to the casino – RED FLAG – he played one slot machine all night – RED FLAG – and talked to it – RED FLAG. Oh and the final straw – when he paid for the buffet at the casino with a coupon. RED FLAG

So there you have it - why are we all douchebags? Why can't we just be honest?